Finally....

I wanted my first blog piece to be about something interesting and I sat down thinking, I will finish the whole thing in an hour. It has been almost two and I still have not decided on a topic …sad isn’t it? It really is not as easy as it seems. I used to think, how hard can it be? It is just putting your thoughts down.  But it is way more than that, or maybe it feels harder because my creative juice has been sucked up by my Math and Electronic books – subjects that are based on facts and have no room for imagination at all.

I figured maybe I am having a thought-drought because I don’t read enough blogs, so I decided to read random blogs. And after almost an hour of reading I realized that there are blogs with a very broad spectrum of topics, from sober blogs that discuss causes and solutions of the pandemonium in the world today, to blogs that discuss clothes that might give people a chance to get action at night, there is something for everyone! Yes that’s right, there was a rather odd 650 words blog titled, “clothes that got me laid”.

After reading at least a million blogs I thought I would get help from the best source there is today – Google. I typed in “How to write an interesting blog” in the search box and before I could even blink I got 10,800,000 results in less than a second, 0.21 to be precise. I paused there for a while, and with much astonishment said to myself, “Wow, and I almost took three hours just to ruminate over possible blog topics when I could have done this?!”

I browsed through a few links and discovered that while many articles are serious, informative and to the point there are quite a few that have the most hilarious of tips. And I literally LAUGHED OUT LOUD when I read them. Three of the funniest ones that made me roll with laughter were:

Pick a joke and stick with it. Don’t confuse your readers by taking your post in strange and unexpected directions. For example, if you think George W. Bush is stupid, introduce that idea in your first paragraph and then take another 16 paragraphs working up to a punchline in which it is revealed that he is, in fact, quite stupid. The payoff chuckle is well worth the 20 minutes of buildup.

Use exaggerated analogies and examples. Bazillion is a funny word precisely because it’s always an exaggeration. You could write: I haven’t had sex in months. That does not generate laughs. It generates pity. Alternately, you could write: I haven’t had sex in so long that I decided to donate my vagina to a worthy cause. Of course it’s an exaggeration. Of course it’s not true. But your readers know that, because it’s impossible to donate one’s vagina to a worthy cause. So it’s not lying. It’s creative.

Write about topics that make people uncomfortable. What makes people uncomfortable? Death, sex, curse words, farting and other bodily functions, weakness, and embarrassment. You’ll be especially funny if you can find a way to string a bunch of them together. Example: While giving my husband a blowjob, I was thinking about my dead grandmother and then, all of the sudden, I farted a big juicy stinky one.

While I found pages full of ridiculous and funny tips, I did discover a lot of helpful articles and useful ideas that I most definitely will use in my posts later on.

This was my first ever attempt to write a blog, and I have to admit it, while it was strenuous and time consuming, it was a lot of fun. And I am sure I am not the only one who had trouble writing his first blog. I am sure many of you also suffered from writers block, am I right?

Anyway, I shall come up with more interesting and spicy topics and exciting and fun reads in the near future.

Cheers till then!